I am exhausted.
Right now life is dropping bombs left and right. Don’t get me wrong, they are good and exciting (so maybe bombs is the wrong word but it’s the best I can come up with right now) but I am exhausted—like so emotionally and physically crushed that in the evenings I make the hubbs put the kids to bed and I sit on the couch and watch awful movies on Netflix and play Candy crush. The copious amount of snow and dreary days are not helping the matter.
I should add that I, personally, hate it when bloggers say “something really big is coming so get excited” or when they say emotionally vague things like “I am so exhausted because life is so crazy” because, let’s be honest, most of the time I’m just not that interested in the person’s life—that’s right, I just don’t care enough. I’m interested enough to know secrets now but not interested enough to anticipate them.
That’s it.
I just talked myself in to divulging at least one bomb. I’m applying for a new job. In December I started working as a tutor at Mercy College. I had no idea how much I would love working. I LOVE IT. I love getting out of the house, I love talking in intellectual ways to other adults and I love having my own money. I love it that I work 10 hours a week at night and on Saturday so that I still get to spend lots of time with my kids. This is the life. {for me. I’m not judging anyone here—you might hate working nights and weekends, you might want to work full time you might not want to work at all. Just do what you need to do to be happy—no one here is judging. Working a couple of hours a week makes me happy}
My very dear husband and I are two different kinds of people with money. I am much more free with money than the hubbs is (which will shock those of you who really know me because, let’s face it, I’m not THAT free with money but the hubbs—he’s in his own league). This leads to some difficulties in budgeting and planning. In the hubb’s dream-world we would be saving 30% of our income for retirement (the man wants to retire well). This is tricky when things like Valentine’s Day or Birthdays roll around. Before I had a job I was stuck spending money that the hubbs earned to buy him presents that he didn't really want anyway (because he would rather put that money into long-term savings).
So, the hubbs and I came up with the very best solution to this problem when I got a job. He agreed to the terms that his money is our money and my money is my money. Best. Husband. Ever. I know. Thanks to my new job I have a couple hundred bucks a month with which I can do anything I want. And I love it. Valentine’s Day was a cinch this year. Everyone got gifts and I even ordered a couple of expensive educational toys for the kids just because I wanted to. No guilt. It’s my money. (Do you guys use
MagFormers? They are expensive little things but they are probably the most played-with toys we have at our house. And I can’t help but think that by encouraging my kids to play with them I am developing their interest in Math and Science. Our set was just not big enough so I ordered us a new one with pentagrams. I also ordered a bulk lot of duplos from ebay. Sometime in the future we can talk about how sometimes binge shopping helps me feel calm)
The trouble with this job is that the tutoring center I work for isn't open in the summer. After feeling the freedom that getting out of the house allows me I don’t want to give it up for even 3 months. So I’m applying for a teaching position in the Biology department. Adjunct faculty teaching nights at a sketchy campus in the Bronx—sounds perfect right? Wish me luck.
I feel fairly confident that I will do well teaching in the Bronx as the teenage girls I work with at church have taken me under their wing and are teaching me to be cool. Lesson 1: Every word that starts with a d say it like it starts with a z instead. For example: You don’t say, “I’m on a diet.” You say, “I’m on a ziet.” I don’t know if it’s actually helping me be cool but every time I remember to do it the girls erupt in laughter which at least gives them some solidarity—at least they’re all making fun of the leader together.