Asking for Hate Mail

I know that I'm asking for hate mail with this one but boy do I have a tale to tell.

Yesterday Claire wanted to wear her panties.  My sister is here to help us with the new baby and watching Claire and cooking and all other kinds of slave labor that accompany a brand new baby and Claire saw that Aunt Abbey was wearing panties.  She needed to wear them too.  Church came and as I was packing Claire's bag I forgot the little pouch that we put diapers in and I forgot that Claire wasn't wearing a diaper.  We were about 30 min into church when I realized that not only did I not have any diapers but she wasn't wearing a diaper.

I sent the hubbs running home (Mormon church is 3 hours long so we still had the long haul ahead of us) and every 5 or 10 minutes I asked her if she needed to go potty.  One of the times I asked she answered that she did.  We walked to the bathroom and she sat on the potty and we talked about all of her friends who go pee on the potty (Maggie, Jane, Betsy and Ellie thank you thank you thank you) and she did it.  She just went pee.

Since then, aside from sleeping, she has been wearing panties (just like Aunt Abbey) and she hasn't had an accident yet.  She tells us when she needs to go and she is thrilled every time she hears her pee or her poop hit the water.

Someone pinch me because this is a dream.

Some Babies

Some babies get nurseries with new paint and cribs and mobiles.  And some babies just get 5 feet of space in their parent's bedroom.

The good news is newborns can't see more than an inch in front of their faces when they are born so he'll have no idea.


And I finished the peg dolls baby is bringing for Claire.  They don't look perfect but taken as a group I feel like you can tell what they are.  Hopefully Claire will be able to tell who they are.

Recipe for Success

Take one naked baby,
one sunny spring day (need not be warm depending on your baby type),
several measuring cups, spoons and toothbrushes,
and one porch.

Add one pot of water.

Enjoy a little time for yourself

Wiggleworms

Last week (or was it the week before?--hard to say) we got the most amazing package in the mail.  What's even more amazing is that is was unsolicited (unless you count blog-ranting about having to sing the same songs over and over as soliciting.) Rory, who is a children's librarian, set us these two amazing CDs.

Songs for Wiggleworms

Wiggleworms Love You

She said that she uses them all the time in her 2-year old story time.  And really, I don't know how you've lived this long without them.  A version of "Wheels on the Bus" that has a verse that says, "Rosa Parks on the bus says, "I won't go."

Brilliant.

And I think that we have nearly worn out the track "milkshake."

Thank you Auntie Rory. We love the CDs.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Is this the life for me?

I'm not sure this whole blogging life is for me.  I've been doing it for  more than a year now.  When I started out I was looking for a way to write and document our life. I wanted some kind of creative outlet that wasn't cooking or crafting. It was also a convenient way to keep up with family and friends who live a long way away.  But really.

I'm just not sure that blogging about this little family is making any difference.  So maybe Auden was right and "poetry makes nothing happen."  Does writing about my little life with the hubbs and Claire really make a difference?

I just don't know if I can do it anymore.  Sometimes it feels like this is a job and I struggle thinking of interesting content which is genuine and honest and a little funny.

But I think I have a solution.  I'm thinking instead of this being a blog about my life with the hubs and our darling little girl that in late August we should make this blog about my little life with the hubbs and our darling little girl and our new baby.

Is that going to work?

And in case you are wondering if I am one of those people who gracefully gets pregnant and has a cute little pregnant belly, I am not.  I have had it verified from 2 complete strangers that even at 8 months pregnant I don't look pregnant but rather like I'm getting really fat. I know....you can hardly wait for the pictures.  I've already outgrown all of my normal pants and I'm a full belt hole past normal.

The Newest Blockbuster

Remember when March of the Penguins came out?  I do.  I was in graduate school and one of my roommates and I went to go see it.  We sat near the front of the theater in the small town where we lived and cried our eyes out.  Remember when the egg cracks?  Dang.  That's powerful movie making.

I feel like we could make a similarly spectacular movie entitled The Great Ornament Migration.

Because really, where have all the ornaments (and even lights) on the lower half of the tree gone?

A first time for everything

Today I ventured out into shoppingdome for the first time on a Black Friday ever.  I typically avoid the tradition like the plague and here are my reasons

1) I love sleep
2) Why would I want to spend a Friday off of work crammed into a store with a million other people?
3) Historically all of my Black Fridays have been spent in places where the weather this time of the year can be summed up as "snowy" and I don't like being cold.
4) I don't have any money to spend

The last one may seem downright Un-American but my fear of eating dog food for my whole retirement outweighs my love of cheap goods at bargain prices.

This year was a little different.  The church I belong to has this really amazing women's group called the Relief Society.  The purpose of the Relief Society is to do just like what it sounds like: provide relief.  As a group we recently read a really inspiring book about the kinds of things that women who belonged to the organization had done in times past (which included starting a hospital to specifically serve women and the disabled, raising wheat that would be sent to Europe after World War 2 to feed the starving people etc, etc etc).  After our discussion about the book one of the women in the group raised her hand and said, "This book made me want to get to work.  I haven't done anything worthy of being written about in this book."

So we decided that we are going to do our best to be book-worthy.

We still don't have a long term relief-providing project picked out (or even thought up.  We are taking suggestions) but until we do we are busying ourselves providing relief in smaller less book-worthy ways.  This Christmas we are providing care kits for families who will have to be in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) on Christmas.  One of the women in our group had a baby born at 23 weeks.  Charlotte lived in the NICU for 7 months (you wouldn't know it now).  Another one of the women works at the NICU so it's a cause that's near to our hearts.

Our very own Claire spent her first 7 days in the NICU.

Hands down, the worst 7 days of my life.

I had a baby born at 41 weeks gestation.  She weighed 7lbs 15oz and I knew that her stay in the NICU would be a short one (her next door neighbor only weighed 4 lbs) and it was STILL an awful experience.  The nurses were nice, the doctors were kind but walking away from the hospital and leaving my brand new baby there with an IV taped to her head and an oxygen tube was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

On Saturday we have a service extravaganza to make everything that will be needed for the care packages.  We will be busy making baby leg warmers, blankets, silky soothing blankets and crinkly toys.  We're trying to make 40 of each.  Our children are making the cards to go with the packages*.

 Making all of those crafty things requires a lot of crafty materials.  And the one thing that could get me out of my bed and to the mall before 8 is the thought of those babies in the NICU and their moms whose hearts are breaking and who have to walk away from their brand new babies on Christmas day. So for my very first Black Friday experience I hit up Joann's Fabric.  I geared myself up for pushing ladies out of the way to get all of the flannel I needed and I loaded up my purse with snacks.

Totally unnecessary.  The cutting-line was long but you just had to take a number and wait your turn (which took about an hour). The employees were nice and everyone in line was discussing their next project.  And believe you me, when it came to buying fabric in bulk I had nothing on those ladies (yes, that is one lady's cart and pile on the counter).

Would I do it again?

Only if there's a group of babies who need our help.

*If any of you are interested in joining us for the baby-supply-making extravaganza just email me.  We could always use another pair of hands.

You Gotta Know When to Fold 'em

We've talked before about how much Claire loves her dad.  And I mean LOVES her dad.  One of my friends who is a social worker assured me that Claire loves me and her feeling so confident in my love is what allows her to feel comfortable enough to prefer her dad.  And she does--prefer her dad that is. 

Let's be thankful that the hubbs and I are not in a custody battle for Claire which would be decided by us standing on opposite sides of the room, placing her in between us and calling for her to come to see who should have her a la Henry and Ribsy (all you people between the ages of 30 and 40 don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about). I would lose.  She would walk right over to her dad and sit down in his lap.


On Saturday night Claire woke up crying at 3:30 am.  Usually this is just because she has lost her pass or she is startled but after one experience where it was actually a poopy diaper and we left her crying until morning (with a serious diaper rash consequence) we always go in and check on her.  I slowly opened the door to her room and right when she saw me she yelled, "No. Daddy." 

I  turned around and called out, "Honey, Claire is calling."  The hubbs then got up and comforted her and put her back down and I went right back to sleep.  Should I be offended that my staying home with her has caused her to believe that her dad is the superior parent or should I just be thankful that I don't even remember the hubbs coming back to bed because I was already fast asleep?

I don't really know what to do....it's our first fight

Ladies and gentlemen I hoped this day would  never come.  I hoped that I could to through the rest of my life with just the lovey-dovey feelings I've told you about but the day has come and I don't know what to do.

24 Hour Fitness and I are in a fight.

Let me tell you what happened so that you can commiserate with me and leave me comments about how insensed you are too.

On Monday as the hubbs and I were getting Claire ready so that we could take the hubbs to the airport the hubbs leaned over to me as he was putting on her shoes and said, "Have you seen this?"  He then points out a little thing that looks like a pimple on Claire's ankle.  I had not seen it but as I'm looking I notice that she has another one on the side of her foot.  We talked about it for a minute and the hubbs says, "sometimes I get little blisters like that when my feet get too hot" and we continue on our merry way to the airport.  After the airport Claire and I head straight to the gym where we stay for about an hour.  After we're home I take her shoes off and notice another little blister on her other foot.

I panic.  I then carefully examine her feet and find three little red marks on the sole of her foot.  A couple of our friends have recently had hand, foot and mouth disease (HFM) and I know that it's making it's way around two of the housing complexes in this neighborhood.  I hit the internet and look up pictures and sure enough, the little marks on Claire's foot look like the pictures on the internet so we buckle down and I get prepared to spend a week at home.  I call a friend who's kids had it and she tells me exactly what her Dr told her.  It's a virus and there's nothing you can do and they are contagious for 48 hours.  I email anyone who has had contact with Claire to let them know they should be on the lookout and then I call 24 Hour Fitness to tell them the same thing and tell them that they probably need to Lysol down the kid's club to be safe.  I also canceled a Dr's appointment and the babysitter and hunker down for the week.

Well the week rolls on and nothing happens to Claire.  The 3 blisters on her feet and the 3 red marks on her sole don't expand--there aren't more of them, she just seems fine.  There's a chance she had it but really I think that she just had a heat rash on her feet--though to be safe we stayed away from kids for the 48 hours that HFM is contagious.

And here's where the fight begins.  Today I got a call from one of the managers at 24 (who is a very nice girl and who I really do like) and she says, "So, how's Claire." I just say that Clarie is feeling better because getting into the whole false alarm thing didn't seem like a great idea. And she says, "great.  I'm so glad.  So...I was wondering, do you think you could bring a Dr's note to the gym when you come back to tell us that she's okay?" 

I told her "No Way" and I start getting mad.

She said, "well...we're just trying to figure out how we can not tell everyone who it was."

I then explain to her that it is a common childhood virus and that there is nothing a Dr can do.  I tell her that it is contagious for 48 hours and that we have not been back to the gym in 4 days just so that we could be sure.  She sort of mumbled and said, "okay.  See you tomorrow."

I've hashed through this a couple of times with my mom (oh my poor mother having to hear this insignificant story all day long) and here's why I'm mad.

I was really trying to be responsible.  I didn't have to call to tell them what happened but I was trying to keep the other kids safe.  Then, after I had tried to be totally honest and responsible she calls thinking that I'm going to try to sneak Claire into the gym before she's totally well.

When I first hung up the phone my thought was, "That makes me not want to be honest and tell them when Claire is sick."

My second thought was what kind of witch-hunt is waiting for me when I get back to the gym.  I imagine all kinds of parents thinking there is some conspiracy and getting ready keep their kids from getting anywhere near that mom who would take a sick kid to the gym.  Really that's not what happened.  It was an honest mistake and I tried to take care of it the best I could.

So here is what I am going to tell myself before I go to bed and before I go to the gym tomorrow (where I will not take Claire just because if there are witch hunters waiting with pitch forks I'm much more nimble when I don't have her on my hip)

The Paradoxical Commandments*

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.


- Kent M. Keith


Be honest and frank anyway...be honest and frank anyway.

*a copy of these hung in Mother Teresa's Orphanage and thanks to a kind friend they also hang in my living room

Utah: Part II

Scenes from the Kitchen:
Scene: My mother is making lemon bars in the kitchen with JGR.  JGR is Claire's cousin (my niece) and she is nearly 2 years old. Claire is napping.

Grandma: What's that?
JGR: A puppy!
Grandma: That's not a puppy, that's the mixer.