A Tear in My Eye

Okay, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Read this. Be sure not to skip the comments.

http://www.food.com/recipe/ice-cubes-420398

The wrong kind of inspiration

Things haven't changed too much around here.  I still am having trouble getting my brain around the fact that in 9 days the movers will be here packing up my house.  In 10 days we'll be on a plane.  It still hasn't sunk in yet.

So I'm spending my time nursing and feeding the baby and rereading books that I've already read before.  The only hint of inspiration that has been in my life is baking.  And it's baking that I didn't even do myself.  My mom did it.  While she was here she baked and cooked and left us with a full freezer and cupboard.

So even though this isn't kind of blog where I really share recipes I figured that any of you who are also in the process of blocking out major sections of your life might want to take the time to make these bad boys.

These were a staple at our family Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner and I assure you, that you won't be sorry that you made these rolls (which are really more like a dessert than a roll, but hey, it's the holidays and if you can call something that contains cool-whip a salad you can certainly call a roll that is like a cinnamon roll but with orange instead of cinnamon a roll instead of a dessert.)

Orange Butterhorns

1 T yeast
1/4 c. warm water
1 T sugar

1 c. water
1/2 c. melted butter
1/2 c. sugar
3/4 tsp salt
2 eggs lightly beaten
4 c. flour

Filling
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. butter (melted)
zest from 1 orange

Mix the first three ingredients together and set aside for 5 min.

In a separate bowl mix flour, sugar and salt. Set aside. Mix water, melted butter and eggs with the first three ingredients and pour the whole shebang into the dry ingredients.

Pay attention here.  This is a special and important step.  Before you turn on the mixer let it all sit together for 10 minutes.  There is a scientific explanation to this that you can read all about in Cooks Illustrated but I will just say that I swear it makes a difference.

Now that you've waited mix the ingredients and knead the dough.  You can either do this with the mixer (my chosen method) or dump it out and do it on the counter.  Knead for about 5 min.  The dough will be wet and sticky.  That's good.

Now put the dough in a bowl, cover with a towel and pop it in the microwave, oven or any other place that doesn't have a draft and leave it for an hour (or an hour and a half--however long it takes for it to about double in size).  Punch it down and leave it again for about the same amount of time.

After the second proofing roll our your dough into a large rectangle that's about 1/4 of an inch thick (depending on the size of your kitchen counter space this might be easier to do in two batches). And spread the filling on the inside.  Now, when we made this the hubbs said, "I know that you have to have a certain filling/bread ration for proper cooking but I think we should push the edge."  That's true.  Make as much filling as you can squish into those rolls.  The more filling the better--just keep that 1:1 ratio of butter and sugar. Then roll them up, slice them up and put them in muffin tins.

Let rise for 30-45 min and cook for 12-15 min at 375.

These freeze beautifully (if you have any left to freeze that is)

Oh the craving.....

Is it just the fact that I am on a very strict holiday diet (to ward off the unwanted holiday pounds, make sure that I fit into my dress for the hubbs' work Christmas party and be swim suit ready for the cruise in Jan) or does this look like the most delicious bread you have ever seen in your whole dang life?

If you like amazing food and blogs written by incredibly talented bakers you should follow Caroline's blog (which is where I stole this picture).  Any of you who are not on a diet should make this and let me know how it turns out. And did you know that Cooks Illustrated had a baking version?

Baking Illustrated?!?!

Oh do not even get me started.

Randomly Enough

*****

These days it takes us 5-10 minutes just to get out the door.  We live on the first floor (up one flight of stairs--21 to be exact.  I've had lots of time to count them recently) and Claire now insists on making the trip up and down all on her own.  She has one hand firmly on the rail and I hold the other.  She still teeters and falls and I have to catch her a couple of times going up and down.  It would be frustrating except that every time we do it I remind myself that I am just getting closer and closer to my dream of packing her with a little backpack so that she can help lugging the groceries up that narrow staircase.

*****

Do not buy this book unless you want to

1) Make amazing artesiean bread in no time and with little to no effort.  Delicious bread with a thick crunchy crust (On Saturday we ate it with homemade yogurt and it was like being in France)
2) Make the best pizza dough I have ever tasted and I have been to Italy more than once
3) Step on the scale 2 weeks after having the book arrive to find yourself 3lbs heavier than you were when it arrived.

Consider yourself warned.

*****

So remember when I went to the dentist and he drilled into my tooth and a stench like you would not believe filled the room?  And I was diagnosed with periodontal disease?  Well, this week I went back to the dentist for my checkup and things are going well.  Turns out my gums are reattaching themselves to my teeth.  It does show the sad state of things that I'm calling it a successful dentist appointment because the only super duper gross thing that happened was they jammed a slow release antibiotic under my gums to help with the reattachment.

*****

Two nights ago at 2 am when Claire was up for the 4th time and screaming and screaming and the only thing that would calm her was rocking and singing I busted out another and perhaps the most brilliant piece of my brainwashing repertoire.  For those of you who are not going to watch the video I'll just put the lyrics right here for you to commit to memory.  Somehow singing this as a lullaby makes 2 am way easier to stomach


First thing I remember knowing,
Was a lonesome whistle blowing,
And a young un's dream of growing up to ride;
On a freight train leaving town,
Not knowing where I'm bound,
No-one could change my mind but Mama tried.
One and only rebel child,
From a family, meek and mild:
My Mama seemed to know what lay in store.
Despite all my Sunday learning,
Towards the bad, I kept on turning.
'Til Mama couldn't hold me anymore.

I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.

Dear old Daddy, rest his soul,
Left my Mom a heavy load;
She tried so very hard to fill his shoes.
Working hours without rest,
Wanted me to have the best.
She tried to raise me right but I refused.

And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.

Cowboy Cookies

I like most things that have to do with cowboys...cowboy poetry, cowboy boots, cowboys themselves. So it should have come as no surprise that I love cowboy cookies too (I will not divulge how many of these I have eaten today but I will just tell you that making them at 8 in the morning made for many hours of sampling).  The first time I ever tasted these our friend *Courtney brought them to a class she was teaching.  She said that people wouldn't remember the lesson but they would remember if she brought really good cookies.  I'm not sure if that was a self fulfilling prophecy but I don't remember the lesson.  I do remember the cookies. I probably don't remember the lesson because my mom and I talked almost all the way through it trying to figure out what made these cookies so dang good.  Courtney was kind enough to share the recipe.

This makes a lot of cookies.  A.  LOT.  Like 7 dozen. Like so many cookies that they didn't fit in my mixer and they didn't fit in the largest mixing bowl that I own. So only make it if you have somewhere to put 7 dozen cookies.  Courtney's mom doesn't believe that you can half the recipe--she says it turns out funny, but Court said that she did it once but still used the same number of chocolate chips (I like your style miss Courtney) and it worked out fine. Next time I'm going to try that.  And I'm also going to add macadamia nuts--you should too.

Courtney's Cowboy Cookies

1 lb butter (that's right...one pound of butter)
4 eggs
2 c white sugar
2 c brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla
2 tsp soda
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
4 c flour
2 tsp cinnamon
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 bag white chocolate chips
1 14 oz bag of coconut
3.5 cups of oats

Cream together the butter, eggs, sugars and vanilla.  Add the dry ingredients and mix.  Add the chocolate chips, coconut and oats.

bake for 8-10 minutes (my oven required 9.5 minutes).  They should have brown little coconut tips but still be soft in the middle. Let them stay on the pan for a couple of minutes before you move them to the rack.


*Courtney has a special place in our hearts because she was the first person who was not a relative to watch Claire.  She did a great job.

And the sunshine was lemon yellow...

This weekend has been sunny and warm(ish) and wonderful.

Welcome Summer

This is our new friend who tries to sneak into our house at every opportunity. He likes the fact that Claire leaves Cheerios and Chex all over the floor.


Just the right kind of weekend* for this

Lemon Cake (modified from Ina Garten)

• 1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 4 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
• 1/3 cup grated lemon zest (6 to 8 large lemons)
• 3 cups flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 3/4 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  

For the glaze:

• 2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
• 3 1/2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and sugar 2 loaf pans (yes, that's right...chubby girls don't use flour we use sugar).

Cream butter and sugar in the bowl of a mixer, until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. With the mixer on medium speed, add the eggs, 1 at a time, and the lemon zest. Mix together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. In another bowl, combine lemon juice, buttermilk, and vanilla. Add the flour and buttermilk mixtures alternately to the batter. Divide the batter (which will be very thick) evenly between the pans, smooth the tops, and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until a cake tester comes out clean.

Allow the cakes to cool completely.
Combine confectioners' sugar and the lemon juice in a bowl, mixing with a whisk until smooth. Pour over the tops of the cakes and allow the glaze to drizzle down the sides.

**this could also be because the lemon tree is fully producing and we have more lemons than we know what to do with

Too Many Stories to Tell

I've been hesitating to write for a couple of days. I have a couple of half-finished posts that just weren't coming together.  At first I thought it was because I didn't have any stories to tell.  My week has been terribly void of remarkable stories though full of trips to the beach, the pool and the gym.  I felt like writing them down was resigning myself to being a  mommy with an insipid life. So it wasn't that I didn't have the stories, it was that I didn't want to document them because I was afraid of what they would show.  That's also tricky because I like who I am. I like the life I have. (he's a pic of Claire's post-beach hair)

One of the reasons I started this blog was because I missed the act of writing. Like a muscle I had left too long unused, I felt like my ability to write was sloppy and weak. I have loved the exercise and I feel like my writing is getting stronger.  This blog is helping me to be a better writer.

Some day I will start working on other stories, but for right now the story that I have chosen to tell is my own and I need to be comfortable with the subject matter.  My life may consist of trips to the beach, pool and library but I can find interesting ways to talk about them and somewhere in there is a good story.

In an attempt to embrace the story of my own life, I now present the undocumented tales of the week:

1) Did you know I make my own yogurt now?  True. Weird, but cheap and delicious and true.

2) Claire's new love is banana applesauce mini muffins and yesterday she ate 4 at one sitting so I could probably start making them normal size but there is something so darling about a chubby little hand holding a tiny muffin and trying to shove the whole thing in her mouth at once

3) I went in for my deep root cleaning this week (that's where the dig into your gums and clean the roots of your teeth--gross, I know.) And two days later my jaw is still sore. There was a whole dental disaster and I was crying when I left the office because I had been in the office for 3 hours and still left without my permanent crown (That means ANOTHER dental visit!!! ahhhhhh)

 4) We switched to 1 nap a day instead of 2 which means that we're hitting the gym at 8 in the morning instead of 11.  Sadly, we've said goodbye to the mafia and the older men working out in pleated kakis but we've said hello to the older Orthodox Jewish man who works out in full Orthodox regalia and skull candy headphones.  The gym just gets better and better.

5) I got a new job at church.  It's going to be time intensive and maybe a little stressful but I'm excited.

6) Claire has been through a major right of passage for a girl. First pony-tail ever. (not everyone can pull off the side pony but I think she does it with just the right amount of pzazz)

Award Winning Blogger Cakes

The hubbs' grandmother has celiac's disease and has been gluten-free baking for the past 70 years. This also means that the hubbs' mother has a whole slew of gluten-free desserts because she's been cooking for her mother for a long time. I just found out that two friends from college are going gluten-free and since one of those friends recently hurled me into the realm of "award-winning blogger" I thought the least I could do is post a recipe for them.

When it comes to gluten-free baking I'm kind of a one trick pony. I have no apologies about that because it's a really good trick (good enough that I've actually made this as a wedding cake). This is gluten-free bakery worthy. Actually, it's just plain old bakery worthy. This is like a lovely piece of coconut pound cake and you can make it as any type of cake or cupcakes. I prefer cupcakes when baking because I can trick myself into thinking that one cupcake with a giant mound of frosting is one serving.

Even though I got this recipe from my MIL when you steal it and open up your very own gluten-free bake shop I think you should call these "Sallee Cakes" or maybe "Award-Winning Blogger Cakes" and get ready for them to take the world by storm (much like their award-winning blogger namesake)

Award-Winning Blogger Cakes
(makes about 12 cupcakes)



1/3 cup butter
1 cup sugar
5 egg yolks
1 cup rice flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup grated coconut
5 egg whites, stiffly beaten

Beat the butter and sugar together in a bowl. Gradually add the egg yolks and beat until very light and creamy (you'll know when it's done because it will be the color of sunshine and happiness). Add the rice flour, salt, and coconut and stir until just combined. By hand, fold in the stiffly beaten egg whites. Line muffin pans with paper cases and fill two-thirds full with the cake mixture. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 25 minutes. Turn out and cool on a rack.

Key Lime Frosting

1/4 c butter
1 lb powdered sugar
zest from 2 key limes
Juice from 2 key limes
Milk (between 2 and 6 tbs)
1/2 c toasted coconut (you can toast coconut in the microwave--just nuke it in 30 second intervals stirring after each until you have a nice brown color)

Cream the butter and lime zest for about a minute. Add lime juice and powdered sugar. With mixer going add milk slowly until you have the texture that you want (some people like fluffy frosting some people like dense frosting--just depends on what you like).

Frost cooled cupcakes and dip them in toasted coconut

If I hadn't been making these for a group of religious missionaires I also would have added 1 tbs of rum or coconut rum to the frosting. Amazingly delicious. You won't be sorry.

Homemade Thin Mints

Yes. You read that right. Home. Made. Thin. Mints. Ah. Those girl scouts, with their beady eyes and their smug looks, "oh, you're gonna buy our cookies at $4.00 per tiny box."

Not any more. Emily, from cupcakes and cashmere (I kind of hate her for her long lean body and the way she bakes treats) made this recipe the other day. I'm taking a frozen meal to a family one complex over who just had a new baby last week and I was looking for a dessert (which could hopefully be frozen) and thought I would try these out.

Our 2 year-old friend came over yesterday and she helped us dip them in chocolate. We used dark chocolate (which, because the cookies aren't sweet makes for some pretty bitter cookies) and the butter in the coating in the original recipe has a really strong flavor so I'd use a milder oil. We ran out of chocolate about 1/2 way through (which was only partially due to the fact that my helper was a 2-year old). For the other half we made mint frosting and drizzled them with the chocolate coating (AMAZINGLY YUMMY. Maybe even better than a thin mint). All that said, I'm posting the recipe with the changes I would make if I were going to make them again (which I might).

Homemade Thin Mints

2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
6 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1/3 cup milk (any kind)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1.5tsp peppermint extract

In a small bowl, whisk together flour, cornstarch, cocoa powder and salt. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. With the mixer on low speed, add in the milk and the extracts. Mixture will look curdled. Gradually, add in the flour mixture until fully incorporated. Shape dough into two logs, about 1 1/2 inches (or about 4 cm) in diameter, wrap in plastic wrap and freeze for at least 1-2 hours, until dough is very firm. Preheat oven to 375F. Slice dough into rounds not more than 1/4 inch thick – if they are too thick, they will not be as crisp – and place on a parchment lined baking sheet. Cookies will not spread so you can put them quite close together. Bake for 13-15 minutes, until cookies are firm at the edges. Cool cookies completely on a wire rack before dipping in chocolate.

Chocolate Coating
20-oz semisweet chocolate
1 cup vegetable oil

In a microwave safe bowl, combine chocolate and oil. Melt on high power in the microwave, stirring every 45-60 seconds, until chocolate is smooth. Chocolate should have a consistency somewhere between chocolate syrup and fudge for a thin coating. Dip each cookie in melted chocolate, turn with a fork to coat, then transfer to a piece of parchment paper or wax paper to set up for at least 30 minutes, or until chocolate is cool and firm. Reheat chocolate as needed to keep it smooth and easy to dip into.

Makes 3 1/2-4 dozen cookies.

**On an unrelated side-note. My brother-in-law is visiting and in our teeny apartment with only 2 bedrooms that means Claire loses hers. She is now sleeping in the spare bathroom. Yes, bathroom. We have this weird second bathroom attached to our bedroom vanity and that's where C is sleeping. I swear I can feel that parent of the year award getting closer and closer.

Vegetables Anyone?

I'm one of those people who could literally put down an entire bag of reese peanut butter cups or plain M&Ms or tootsie rolls or really any other form of candy/baked goods in one sitting. Not joking. I really could and about once a week I have exert considerable restraint to prevent myself from doing it. Consequently vegetables and exercise have to play a pretty serious role in my life. The hubbs however, is a pretty picky eater and isn't a huge fan of veggies. Things he will not eat include; broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, corn, beans, tofu, or any type of sauce among others.

Normally I try to make things that the hubbs will eat but when guests come over the food rules go out the door. For our wedding the hubbs, in a HUGE leap of faith, gave me Cooks Illustrated: The Best Vegetable Recipes and I haven't had a chance to use it as often as I would like.
.

Have you tried these books? I am in love with them. I also have the original version of the book and the light version. These books are like the consumer reports of cooking. They tell you all the best brands, all the best ways to do things (did you know that carrot cake is made 1 million times more delicious if you put the oil and eggs in a food processor and make an emulsion before you mix it?) and the best ingredients.

So this week when a couple of friends were coming over for dinner I busted out the vegetable book and whipped up the Confetti Cabbage Salad with Spicy Peanut Dressing (I had never made a cabbage anything before). Our guests, who were college-age students, declared it a success (that could be seen as an impressive recommendation because college kids don't like vegetables but it could also be questionable because I was offering free food. The hubbs declared it "gross because it had vinegar in it.")

Confetti Cabbage Salad with Spicy Peanut Dressing
Modified From The Best Vegetable Recipes

1 lb green or red cabbage shredded
1 large carrot peeled and grated
salt
2 tablespoons smooth peanut butter
2 tablespoons peanut oil
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon honey
2 med cloves garlic
1 1/2 in piece of fresh ginger peeled and finely grated
2 tsp red pepper flakes
4 med radishes grated
4 med scallions sliced thin
2 teaspoons sesame seeds
1/4 cup roasted, salted peanuts

1. toss cabbage and carrots in 1 tsp salt and place in a colander. Let stand until wilted (at least one hour--I mean..did you know that? That you have to wilt cabbage? I didn't). Rinse under cold water and pat dry with paper towels.
2. Place PB, oil, vinegar, soy sauce, honey, garlic, water, ginger and pepper flakes in a food processor until smooth. Toss dressing with cabbage mixture, radishes, peanuts and 3/4 of scallions. Start using 1/2 of dressing and continue to add dressing to taste (we only used half and it was plenty strong).
3.Garnish with sesame seeds and remaining scallions

The salad was really similar to one I had at this restaurant a couple of weeks ago and would have been even more delicious with some chicken and some fried little noodles (Do you like that? Fried noodles and peanut butter in a salad? Maybe I should start a new blog called "things a chubby girl thinks.")