A modern-day horror story

Once upon this morning I went upstairs to feed the baby. Twenty minutes later Claire came up. She was totally naked. Noah was right on her heels splattered with paint. 

Here is a transcript of the terrifying conversation we had.

Me: what were you guys doing?

Claire: painting.

Me: Where did you get the paint?

Claire: The paint box.

Me: (panic rising in my voice) Where did you get the brushes? 

Claire: We didn't use brushes. We used our hands. 

Me: how did you get clean?

Claire: We washed in the bathroom. Noah painted the door.