But that would be insincere

Dear Neighbors, Landscapers and property management company,
If you are wondering who has been...

pulling all of the red berries off the of bushes and putting them into the cracks in the sidewalk,

and beheading the lavender plants I have a confession.  If you're wondering why the side of the pink flower bush closest to our house is completely bare of blooms,

and why all of the rocks in one section of landscaping are suddenly missing (don't worry--only a small percentage of them are off the premise.  You'll find the majority of them thrown into the bushes.)

I confess.  It's us. I'd apologize but that would be insincere--I'm not really sorry.

Love,
Sallee