Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Holy Lent and Fast: Part II

For Lent this year, instead of giving up sugar and then binging on a million sugary treats come Easter morning I decided to give up something a little more meaningful.  I gave up the mean Chinese mother, Po, who lives in my head (you can read that post here). The experiment went really well and though I wasn't 100% faithful I was mostly faithful. 

Like when I had a lady-type leak at the gym (which was humiliating and here I am documenting it for the whole internet) Po told me that everyone saw it and that I needed to get a new gym because who could forget that and everyone was REALLY grossed out.  My nice, well-rounded mother (who still doesn't have a name but I am taking suggestions) told me that it was embarrassing but that it happens to lots of people.  She reminded me that most of the women there had had it happen at some point in their lives and most of the men there were married to or dating someone who had had it happen.  She also told me that I didn't need to get a new gym and it just wasn't that big of a deal.

There was one week during Lent that I didn't get to the gym even once and I ate horribly (I will only say that cupcakes I made for Claire's birthday were not only cute but there were delicious) but I did a great job of not beating myself up for it. Not listening to Po helped me not worry about getting everything done right now. I did a better job of saying, "here's where I'm going to start and even if it's not perfect, it's where I'm going to start." 

Documenting my relationship with Po has also helped me to realize that everyone has a Po of their very own.  Even the hubbs has said to me since, "my Po said something like...." talking about the way he felt when something didn't turn out quite right at work. Other people who read this blog have mentioned the same thing in conversation--we are all dealing with an immature, scathing, name-calling voice in our heads (or at least, I think most thoughtful people are).  When I was explaining my Lent sacrifice to some friends I realized that I would pop a top if a parent ever addressed Claire the way I was addressing myself.  I should be just as protective of myself as I am of my daughter

I've liked dealing with an internal mother who is a little more mature, who can recognize the hard things but who doesn't get too caught up, who realizes that she is very blessed and who tries to be thankful and happy. I think I'll keep her. Like that year I gave up meat for Lent and then was a vegetarian for the next 6 years.

**The hubbs is coming home on Friday just in time for dinner after a week of being away from us.  I am taking suggestions as to what to prepare for his homecoming feast....anyone? ...anyone? Favorite welcome home dinner?

5 comments:

  1. Hi Sallee, I don't know if I've ever thanked you for writing-- it's always so great to read about your adventures! I walked past the house you lived in when we used to go to church together (at least, that's where I think you lived... I always imagined you lived there), and thought about how far and wide people can go in only a few years. My favorite welcome home feast would probably involve waffles and bacon.

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  2. Nelda - That sounds delicious . . .

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  3. I've been thinking / working on this same sort of thing as well recently. I think this should be our theme song, I Am Not A Robot by Marina and The Diamonds

    http://hypem.com/#!/item/sg24/Marina+and+the+Diamonds+-+I+Am+Not+A+Robot+(acoustic)

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  4. PO is brilliant!! Everyone has a Po and thinking of it as a mean Chinese mother is so right... Every woman totally has had that womanly embarrassment at least once. Mine was in a pair of white pants in high school... I thought Po would never let me live that one down.

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  5. Po means "butt" in German. Funny that you named her Po. Anyway, I'm glad it went well for you. No suggestions for the new mom, but it should be some comfort name from the South.

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